The soft lights around the stage glow golden warmth in the otherwise dim room. Jasmine is playing beautifully on the
piano and her sister Mattie’s pristine voice is rising in the darkness with these words. It is the cry of all of our hearts.
“Not in the mighty wind, not in the earthquake, not in the blazing fire but in the whisper, is Your voice. I want to hear You. Teach me to listen. Here in the quietness of this holy place. Jesus, come talk to me so I may know Your will for me. Please just come talk to me and with all my heart I will obey…Your voice.”
That was a twenty year old memory that recently resurfaced. Twenty years ago I went away to Bible College. I went to be in a place where I could hear the voice of God. To hear what His will for my life was. Since then many of us who sang those words have gone on to serve the Lord around the world. Others have beaten us to heaven.
Listen to the Song here
I will have been on the mission field for 10 years this month. I am so thankful for all of you who have faithfully prayed for and supported me over the years but I hope that our friendship allows me to be open with you. Honestly I am dealing with burn out. I have had thoughts of leaving the mission field for good. I have had thoughts about throwing in the towel of ministry in general. I need His whisper again but everything else is too loud to hear it. If God is calling me to a different path then I will go, but I don’t want exhaustion to push me off of the path He has for me. I doubt that I am alone in this feeling. I am sure that some of you have been there too. I am getting help before I give up.
I will be leaving Kosovo in early February. It has not been a quick decision but something that I have been talking with my leadership and mentors about since this summer. It seems like now is the right time to leave for a number of reasons. God has not provided the culturally required living companion this spring. I have been raising up the young local couple (Nela & Byli) to take over the ministry to the Mercy Projects families. The English course just passed it’s first year and has a good base of students including some from the MP kids who would otherwise not be able to get this kind of education. Pastor Urim will be taking the course over now that we have some resources in place. Many thanks to my Mom, Cindy, for helping develop those as well as others who donated and shipped us books (Linda!).
When I first came Pastor Urim had asked for people to help with his transition period. I am happy to be leaving the church in a more stable place than it was a year and a half ago. Pastor Urim has great vision and has made great strides in creating an established church ministry with successful outreach and a clear path ahead. People from the church have also gotten to know the Mercy Projects families very well in this time. I am so thankful to have been here in this season.
You may be asking, “Are you done?” God’s not done with me and I am not done serving Him. That’s not how any of this works. As Bob Goff (Author of Love Does) recently posted
“God gave the wise men a direction, not a bunch of instructions; it wasn't a business trip, it was an adventure.”
Thank you all who have been a part of my life these last 10 years. I pray that you will continue to join me on this next adventure wherever it may take me. I will let you know as soon as I can what my future steps may be. For now I am grateful for your continued support and prayer in this time as I am being obedient to rest and seek the Lord and His plans for my future.